


Jack and Ianto Around the World

by Amjead



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Disney Characters - Freeform, Disney World, Drunk Ianto, Fluff, Humor, Jack has a Secret, Leaning on the Fourth Wall, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 12:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3134534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amjead/pseuds/Amjead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Ianto do Disney's famous, or infamous, drink around the world</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jack and Ianto Around the World

**Author's Note:**

> Back in June, I went to Disney World, got really drunk, and decided that it would make for an excellent Janto story. Now, I started writing this back in the summer and Maelstrom was still open. So, I guess this story's inaccurate now. Oh, this should be the time where I tell you that I'm horrible at writing drunk people. Sorry!

Jack and Ianto were in Disney World. Specifically, they were in Epcot. Now, what on Earth would take two members of Torchwood all the way to Disney World? The plot of this story of course. So, deal with it.

Anyway, Jack and Ianto were in Epcot. They were planning on going to every country in World Showcase and more importantly, doing the famous, or maybe infamous, Drink Around the World. They started off in Mexico. Now, even though their goal was drinking, they still took time to look around the pavilion. They rode the boat ride through the indoor canal which went past the pavilion's restaurant. Jack, being a bit of a goof, waved at the people eating. 

Once they were done, they headed outside to the little eatery for their drinks. Jack ordered for the both of them. He got himself a tequila shot, and a margarita and churro for Ianto.

When Jack came back with the drinks and snack, Ianto said, “You're starting with a tequila shot? Isn't that a little strong for a first drink? We've got ten more countries to go.”

Jack laughed and said, “Don't you worry your pretty little head about me. Just drink your drink and I'll drink mine.”

Ianto wasn't sure what Jack was getting at, but he didn't say anything. He just took a sip of his tangy cocktail.

Then, Ianto picked up the stick of fried dough.

“A churro?” he questioned.

“Yeah,” Jack answered. “I thought you might want a snack. So, I got this for you.”

“Oh. All right.” said Ianto. He picked it up to take a bite out of it, but just before he closed his mouth around it, Jack quickly snapped his picture with the camera he brought. “Why did you take a picture of me about to eat a churro?” Ianto asked.

“Reasons,” Jack replied with a smile.

As they started walking toward the next country, Ianto spotted a line of people.

"What's this queue?” he asked.

They both realized that it was a line of people waiting to see Donald Duck.

Jack smiled and said, “Hey, Ianto, let's get a picture.”

"Absolutely not."

“Oh come on,” Jack teased. “It'll be fun.”

“No,” said Ianto. “We're adults. It'd be silly if we posed for a picture with him.”

Jack scoffed.

“You're such a stick in the mud.” he said. “You're my stick in the mud though.”

Ianto blushed slightly. This trip had felt very odd. It was so, “couple-y.” Ianto wasn't used to being seen with Jack like this in public. It made him a bit awkward.

Anyway, they came to the next country, Norway, and got in the line for the boat ride.

“Do all of the countries have rides?” Ianto asked.

“No,” Jack explained. “Only the first two have rides.”

Ianto found it interesting that the two rides seemed like polar opposites. Mexico's ride was slow moving and relaxing. On the other hand, Maelstrom in Norway was more adventurous. It even had a small drop. Ianto said that he preferred Mexico's ride. Jack preferred Norway's.

Then, they looked around the different stores and got their drinks. They both got a chardonnay wine.

Ianto took a sip and said, “Wow. This is strong.”

Jack took a swig and said, “Is it? I can't really tell.”

Ianto noticed that after his bit of wine, he had that, “alcohol is in my system” feeling. Jack, however, seemed to be just fine.

The next country was China. They watched the movie in the circle theater and browsed through the store. Ianto stopped to look at a big Chinese calender. It had all of the eastern zodiac animals on it.

Ianto pointed to it and said, “According to this, I'm the boar. What are you?”

“I honestly wouldn't know,” said Jack.

Ianto felt stupid. Of course he wouldn't know. Open mouth, insert foot.

“I,uh, I'm sorry,” said Ianto. “I wasn't thinking. I, um-”

“It's ok,” Jack cut him off. “Let's go get our drink.”

“Right.” said Ianto, thankful for the out.

They both got plum wines. Jack liked it. Ianto didn't. After they were done, Ianto felt buzzed, but he didn't want to say anything to Jack.

He still seemed totally sober despite his saying, “That's definitely going to stay with me.”

 

\---

 

“God, I love Germany.” said Jack as a blond boy in lederhosen walked by.

Ianto rolled his eyes. He couldn't take Jack anywhere.

“Is there a ride the Germany pavilion or is it just shops and food?” Ianto asked.

“Just shops and food,” Jack explained. “Let's get a beer.”

Jack had a beer with a name Ianto couldn't pronounce. The increasingly intoxicated tea boy had a grapefruit beer which was sweeter than he imagined it to be. After that drink, Ianto was feeling rather light.

Ianto whispered, “Jack, I'm drunk.”

Jack laughed out loud.

“I'm sorry,” Ianto whispered.

“What are you sorry for?” asked Jack. “Getting drunk is part of the fun. Besides, I'm feeling a little buzzed too. Also, why are you whispering?”

Ianto shrugged. He was a weird drunk.

Italy was the next stop on their drinking adventure. They both got a sangria. It wasn't as fruity as Ianto was expecting it to be, but he liked it nonetheless. As they sipped their drinks, a performer was doing a show in the middle of the pavilion. He was sort of like a cross between a mime and a magician.

"Are you having fun?” Jack asked.

Ianto turned to Jack and gave him a big shit eating grin.

"'M havin' loads'f fun, Jack."

Jack laughed at his slurry boyfriend.

“Ianto, you're wasted,” he teased. “That's all right. I'm drunk too.”

“Y'don't sound like it,” protested Ianto.

“Let's get some food,” said Jack. “I think some nourishment will help sober us up.”

The next country was America. Jack and Ianto grabbed some dinner to go with their drinks. Jack had a hotdog and a cider. Ianto got a hamburger and a soda. He decided to skip the grownup drink this time.

“I've always found it weird that America is one of the countries,” mused Jack. “We're already in America. Why does it need to be showcased?”

Ianto shrugged sleepily. He wasn't drunk anymore, but he could still feel the effects of the alcohol.

“Aren't you from America?” Ianto asked. “Your accent's American.”

I'm from the Boeshane Peninsula,” said Jack. “You know that. It's an island off the east coast. Well, it will be anyway. It was, or it'll be I suppose, founded by Americans. Thus, the accent.”

Ianto nodded.

“Do you want to watch the movie?” he asked.

“Oh, God, no,” replied Jack. “That thing's as boring as hell.”

Ianto nodded again, finished his soda, and they were off to the next pavilion.

The two went right into the store once they got to Japan. Jack went to look at the samurai swords while Ianto casually browsed through the anime and manga things. Back in secondary school, Ianto was a closet anime nerd.

Ianto was leafing through an issue of Pokemon when Jack came up behind him and whispered in his ear, “Do you think they have hentai?”

Ianto jumped, but then playfully swatted Jack on the arm with the book when he realized who it was.

“I think I deserved that,” said Jack with a smile. “Come on. Let's go get our drinks.”

The drink booth outside sold fruity cocktails and sake. Jack got the sake. Ianto got something called, “Strawberry Dream.” He took a sip and it was really nice. He couldn't even taste the alcohol. He could definitely feel it though. A strong buzz came right back to him.

“What's next?” Ianto asked Jack.

"Morocco."

The drink stand in Morocco was also made up almost entirely of fruity cocktails. Jack ordered something that Ianto missed the name of and shared it. As they enjoyed their drink, Ianto noticed a group of kids. Then, he saw a couple of colorfully dressed characters.

“Hey, look,” said Ianto. “It's Jasmine and Aladdin.”

“Do you want to get a picture with them?” Jack asked.

Ianto took another sip of the cocktail as he thought it over.

“Yeah. Sure,” he said. “Why not?”

Jack and Ianto got in line and waited to see Jasmine and Aladdin. After about ten minutes, they got to the front and they interacted with the characters. Jack flirted with both of them and Ianto sort of stood awkwardly to the side. They posed for a couple of pictures and were sent on their way.

“That wasn't as bad as it could have been,” Ianto thought.

In the next country, France, they stopped to watch the movie. They took in the sights of Paris and other French cities in the dark theater. Jack held Ianto's hand and Ianto smiled. It wasn't too often that they could just relax and be affectionate with each other.

At one point during the movie, Jack leaned over and whispered, “When are you taking me to France?”

Ianto chuckled and whispered back, “Soon enough.”

The next scene was of a beach in Cannes.

A man wearing a Speedo came into view and Jack whispered, “Oh my God. We definitely have to go to France.”

After the movie, they got their drinks, wine again. Jack got red. Ianto got white. After the drink, Ianto felt really drunk again.

“'M so drunk,” observed Ianto.

“Yeah,” laughed Jack. “Me too.”

“No you're not,” slurred Ianto. “You're th'least drunk person'f all th'drunk people in th'world.”

Jack laughed again and said, “Let's go to the U.K.”

 

\---

 

“This's weird,” commented Ianto while standing in the middle of the U.K. pavilion.

“I agree,” said Jack. “There's something strange when it's your own country. Do you just want to grab our drinks and head off to Canada?”

“Yes, please,” slurred Ianto. “D'y'think we could maybe share a drink?”

Jack chuckled and said, “Sure. Of course.”

Jack got a pear cider for them both. They were just about to head over to Canada when, suddenly, Ianto gasped.

“What is it?” Jack asked.

Ianto pointed ahead. Jack couldn't really see what Ianto was pointing at. There were many people in the way. Then, Jack saw a white dress and knew what was going on.

“S'Mary Poppins,” said Ianto. “I love Mary Poppins. Jack, w'gotta go over there. W'gotta get our pictures taken.”

“I thought you said it would be silly for us to pose for pictures,” teased Jack.

“Forget what I said,” slurred Ianto. “This's different. This's Mary Poppins.”

So, Jack and Ianto got in the line. When it was their turn, Mary Poppins gave them her sweetest smile.

“Hello, gentlemen,” said Mary charmingly. “How are you this evening?”

“All the more better now that we've seen you,” flirted Jack.

“Oh, you're a cheeky one,” said Mary with a smile. “You're just like my friend Bert. What's your name?”

"Jack."

“Well, Jack I'm going to have to tell Bert that there's another man out there like him. Won't he be surprised.”

Then, Mary turned to Ianto and asked, “What's your name, Sir?”

“I-Ianto,” he stuttered. He felt just a bit foolish being drunk in front of Mary Poppins.

“It's lovely to meet you, Ianto,” she said. “Now, how do you two know each other? Are you brothers? Friends?”

“He's m'boyfriend,” said Ianto awkwardly.

“How marvelous,” said Mary warmly. “Look at the photographer, gentlemen. Let's take a posed picture.”

The three took a few photos and then Mary bid them adieu.

On their walk over to Canada, Jack said, “That's the first time you've told someone I'm your boyfriend. I don't think I've ever even heard you use the word out loud before.”

“'M drunk,” said Ianto.

Jack sighed. There was no sense in having a sentimental moment with him now. Hopefully, he'd remember what he said in the morning.

Once in Canada, Jack bought two beers. He handed one to Ianto who immediately cracked it open and took a big sip.

"Oh, m'God,” said Ianto when he put the beer down.

“What's wrong?” asked Jack.

“'M gonna b'sick.” With that, Ianto dashed to a nearby trashcan and threw up. Jack stayed with Ianto as he vomited. He rubbed his back and tried to keep people away. Once Ianto was done being sick, Jack bought him a water and sat him down on a bench.

“How come your not sick?” Ianto asked.

Jack shrugged, but that answer wasn't good enough for Ianto.

“Somethin's goin' on here,” he said. “You've been sayin' all night that you're drunk too, but you're not. Why're you not drunk? More importantly, why've y'been sayin' you're drunk when y'aren't.”

“I don't get drunk,” said Jack sheepishly. “It's a 51st century kinda thing.”

“Why'd'ja lie?” asked Ianto.

“I didn't lie,” defended Jack. “I just didn't tell the truth.”

“Oh, come on,” groaned Ianto.

“No, here me out,” said Jack. “We rarely do fun things together. These nice relaxed moments are very special to me because of their infrequency. Do you know how much fun I had with you today? This was probably one of the best days of my life because I could just relax and have a nice time with you. I didn't want my weirdness to inhibit our fun.”

“Weirdness?” Ianto repeated. “Jack, y'can't get drunk. That's awesome. I juss puked m'guts out into a public trashcan. I wish I was in your situation. I'm just happy to spend time with you.” Ianto started laughing and Jack laughed too. Ianto was right. Jack was just being silly. He didn't care if Jack was actually drunk or not.

Ianto ended the laughing with a kiss.

When they pulled apart, Ianto said, “I love ya, Jack.”

Jack chuckled and said, “I love you too, Ianto. I just wish you were this openly affectionate when you were sober.”

Ianto shrugged and said, “Well, you'll juss hafta deal with drunk affection for now. Speakin' f'drunk affection, will y'still take me t'bed?”

Jack laughed and said, “Of course. Let's go, you little lush.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading. I hope you liked it. Please feel free to follow me on Tumblr (followallthefandoms) or Twitter (Amjead)


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